A Brother's Journey of Faith to LifeChurch.tv

Salvatore DiSalvatore is not a new character in a Martin Scorsese film.

He is my brother.
He is my best friend.

Sal has always pushed me and inspired me, because his faith is uncommon; different.

When many would give up on their dreams because life got too busy, or the journey was too long, or quite frankly fear got in the way of faith; Sal would never settle.

It's hard to wait, to be still.
It's hard to be Sal.

His journey began when he chose to attend Regent University to pursue a Masters in Communications and Film.

Sal loves to tell stories thru media, and his stories make great sermons.

There were some people who discouraged him from leaving the comforts of Philly to go down south to Virginia and chase the dream.

I never understand why people encourage others to be more practical,
sometimes I think practical is another way of saying settle.

Sal would continue to navigate that tension during his years in the south,
especially his final semester. The school put on a short film festival at the local theater and Sal's movie dealt with the cycle of sin in a very artistic and poweful way.

It was different, but apparently Pat Robertson doesn't like different

It got pulled from the festival.

Sal returned to Philly crushed, but still had hope.

When his friend's accepted other jobs, filming commercials or editing, Sal wouldn't comprise what God called him to do. He was focused on his goal of making a difference in Christian media.

I remember one time when he had an opportunity to go to a film festival on the West Coast (fully paid) he declined.

Personally, I thought he was crazy for not going, but he said he prayed about it,
and felt that God didn't want him to go.

Sometimes faith doesn't make sense.
Sometimes faith is weird.

I would see that puzzled look again throughout the next couple of years
as it transfered from my face to others.

When people would ask about my brother and what he is up to, I would tell them about the latest script he was working on doing or the latest project he was doing pro bono for a friend. I would see this subtle look in response.

A subtle look that turns to a smile.

A look that says be practical... settle.

I think Sal never gave up, because my parents never had that look.
They always believed in him. Always supported him.

My parents have always been in his corner (mine too).

People need someone in their corner.

One night Sal called me and we were talking about what's next.

He was frustrated.

This wasn't our first conversation like this, I found my self wanting to say, be practical, think of the short term instead of the long term.

Settle was on the tip of my tongue.

But this time, the conversation was different.
I listened more and talked less.

Sal seemed to have renewed energy as he told me about a position he just applied for.

LifeChurch.tv had a position open and thought he would send his resume. He didn't know about the church and asked if I heard about it.

I laughed. As a church planter, everyone knows about LifeChurch.tv and Craig Groeschel.

I just finished reading his book "It" too.

We prayed.
He didn't get the position.

He did get a phone call.

From there he began writing some scripts for their kids ministry not really expecting anything.

They loved his stuff, and trust me its good.

Sal has always had good stuff.

And they saw it too.

I couldn't believe it when we Sal and I had another conversation and he told me that they hired him full time to be a writer and work on their creative team.

I cried.

It had nothing to do with my brother getting a position at a prominent church.
It has everything to do with knowing that there is someone out there that believes in him.

That God answers prayers.
That God gives us dreams for a reason.

If we are willing to be alittle different,
to never settle
to be like Sal.

Life Is Good

One of the traditions I am starting with my son is taking walks.

He loves being in the stroller and looking around. He likes to ask questions and watch the bunnies and dogs go by as we roll around the neighborhood. My hope is that as he gets older and out grows the stroller, the walks will continue (cross my fingers for the teen years).

I think and pray a lot as we go around the block, water bottle in hand and ear buds in place.

At times it is hard to focus on the good when my mind seems drawn
like a tracker beam to the bad.

There have been people who have put up a show in public
only to be the opposite behind closed doors.

There have been people who seem to have all the time in the world when it benefits them
but when you are no longer a commodity you no longer have their time.

There have been people who I looked up to with awe but has lately turned to shock.

It has been a mental battle not to become cynical-christian-guy or
pastor-chip-on-the-shoulder.

That has never been me.
I am an encourager not a critic.

When I was younger I would share with my Pastor how
afraid I was of going into the ministry because of being hurt by people.

I assumed the hurts would come from the congregation.
I never imagined it would come from other pastors.

So I walk and stroll and pray, feeling overwhelmed
hoping my neighbors would believe it was the wind making my tears and not my past.

And just like that, I was reminded in a whimsical, childlike way about life on the sidewalk...

Sometimes kids just say it the best.

"At that time Jesus prayed this prayer: “O Father, Lord of heaven and earth, thank you for hiding these things from those who think themselves wise and clever, and for revealing them to the childlike." (matthew 11.25 NLT)

I like to pride myself at times of being a well read individual, looking for the latest hot book to dive into or thought provoking quote to highlight, but it just might be the neighborhood kid with the colorful chalk that will inspire.

My hope is that when I am older and walking around the neighborhood with my son listening to his laments about the latest girl who broke his heart or the teacher that seems to have it out for him, I can remind him that we will always have choice to make.

That there will always be bad in a broken world,
but there is hope, there is good,
if you're willing to look down into the colored chalk of your soul.

Important Idol

I admit it, I watch American Idol.

It has been a show that's captured my attention for a number of years.  The second season got me reeled me in when Clay Aiken sang "Here There and Everywhere."  I am a huge Beatles fan and that was my wedding song, it just gets me (the song, not Clay Aiken).

So for the past 10 years now (wow who would've thought, definitely not Ed McMahon) my wife and I have tuned in for the music, to see what brutally honest comment Simon might have for the haves and the have-nots, and to see what new hair style Ryan Seacrest is rocking (no man crush here).  We've even hung in there thru the Kara DioGuardi years.

Simon has been a big deal when it comes to American Idol almost more than the music and rising star who wins.  I honestly thought the show would not do well when he transitioned, (after all who is going to pick on Ryan).

Enter Stephen Tyler (a wildcard) and Jennifer Lopez (definite upgrade from Paula) and we can't forget our favorite "dawg" Randy Jackson who stuck around, to act as the three judges for season 10.

So why is Idol still a success as this past week brought in the highest number of votes at 95 million to chose who the two finalists will be?

There are two key factors to why this is the most important season and probably the most successful.

1. The judges are more encouraging than critical.

2. The contestants have a consistent coach in proven music producer Jimmy Iovine.

America may have been entertained with Simon, but never have been inspired as when Laura meet Stephen.

There may have been moments when you wished Simon was there to add his two cents, but the investment of encouragement goes a lot further than the junk change of criticism.

Especially when all too often in the moments of being critical turn into a habit of being cynical.  I think it resonates with people when someone encourages, because we have enough critics in life, whether its a boss, or a coworker, or that random person who leaves you strange comments on Facebook.

It is inspiring when you see someone considers others better than themselves. 

The addition of Jimmy Iovine illustrates that Idol is becoming more interested in seeing the contestants reach there potential, than just crank out another pop star with 15 minutes and counting.

One of my favorite quotes is from a former Notre Dame coach, Ara Parasheghian, "A good coach will make his players see what they can be rather than what they are."

Simon showed these contestants what they are, this season they have been shown what they could become.

They dynamic of coaching is one that transcends in other areas of life.

I have a number of friends who have personal coaches to help them get over the hump to reach that elusive goal weight (hmm maybe I should invest in one).  Churches are now offering life coaches as a way to disciple people into leadership and personal growth.

In the business field coaching is the hot trend with the most successful companies according to CNN, "Coaching now is part of standard leadership development training for elite executives and talented up and comers at IBM, Motorola, JP Morgan, Chase, and HP.  These companies are discreetly giving their best prospects what star athletes have long had: A trusted advisor to help reach their goals."

It may be just another season of Idol that comes and goes, but perhaps in a subtle way seeds of encouragement are being planted and principles of good coaching are being modeled for America to see every week on Wednesday and Thursday.

It may be entertaining for a time to criticize, but an encouraging word is never forgotten.

More Please

I am not a good prayer, but I want to be.

The times when I talk to God the most are the times in my life when things go wrong.

When I need something,
and to be honest,
when want something too.

I can sound like a real baby.

Speaking of baby...

When my son cries and makes a fuss,
I think to myself, "Yup, I can sound just like that."

Lately he has been doing something that speaks louder than his cries.

It is something that gets my attention and my response.

My wife and I have been teaching him sign-language to help him communicate.
Since he cannot form a vocabulary yet, other that Elmo, ball, and now hat.

The hand motions work well.

He moves his hands together in a point to say "More."
and he has got that down especially when he wants Elmo cookies
(they are pretty good too, I have had some myself).

Recently he has learned to use the sign for "Please" (rubbing his stomach).

When he cries out of manipulation, not when he is hurt,
I have learned to tune it out until his crying spell has passed.

I do listen and respond when he motions the word "please."

I cannot help it, compelled to answer his please.

The same way when he is crying for my attention,
there is this moment when he will just lift up his hands,
out of sheer desperation and surrender.

I pick him up,
carry him,
and kiss him.

I never understood why people would raise their hands in worship,

mostly I would do it because other people did it (or if there was a key change).

It is a spiritual communication that goes beyond cries and manipulation,
but into a subtle language and a posture of the heart.

Maybe prayer is more about communicating with God,
than simply just trying to get his attention.

Maybe worship is less about getting what I want,
and more about surrendering.

Maybe this is what child like faith is all about.

Usually a Dad would want his son to be like him,

this time I have find my self wanting to be like my son.

Bullied.

I have been bullied.

I have been punched.

I have become an uncounted number.

Taunts.

Teased.

Tormented.

I am not alone.

During my school days a fellow classmate would come to my locker ever day and he would punch me in the arm.

Constantly.
I lost count.

It was our morning ritual.  It hurt but then after awhile it didn't.  I became numb.  Desensitized to what was really taking place on the surface, but underneath pressure was building.
I knew, and he knew; and there was nothing I could do about it.

There was no reason behind his constant attacks.

There was only latitude to do so.

I couldn't fight back, although I was taller.
I couldn't tell someone, although everyone knew.

Trapped.

He was in a gang.
And I took the bus.

I would pray that I could catch my ride on time because If I missed the first bus,
I would be alone. Vulnerable. Easy prey.

No after school activities.
No games of football in the school yard.

The bell was my escape, and the clock was ticking.

And then it stopped.

Maybe my prayers were answered.
Maybe my best reaction was no action.

It is hard to believe that all of this took place in 6th grade.

Before I could drive.
Before I could die for my country.
I would die everyday.

Bullying is a quiet epidemic that screams in the silence.

Short or Tall
Skinny or Fat
Girl or Boy
Gay or Straight
Christian or Muslim

Everyone has been affected.

Whether you threw the punches, or took the punches.
Whether you watched the violence or turned away.

"Courage is fire, and bullying is smoke."

British Prime Minister Benjamin Disraeli, said those words in the 1800s.

His words still ring true today.

I do not write this for sympathy, I write this to dispel the smoke.

Bullying must be talked about and brought into the light.

A stand must be taking when it is witnessed and in the aftermath that follows.


"Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves; ensure justice for those being crushed."
Proverbs 31.8 (New Living Translation)


I bring this to light because there was a girl who I knew whose life was tragically affected by Bullying. 


There have been times when I have been bullied since my school days. 
It comes in different forms.
Only the setting changes.  


Sometimes words hurt more than fists.  
Sometimes the size of the bully doesn't change just the size of the office. 


The only thing that got me thru those moments then and now is talking about it.


Venting. Loud and Broken.  


I do not know where I would be if it was not for trusted family or friends, 
that allowed me the space for my messy frustration.
Like a balloon, I have popped, sometimes leaving a mess to pick up. 


There is Love in the broken pieces.
Who picks up what is left behind,
And makes all things new. 

Happy Atheist

This past Sunday was a great day.  

It was Easter.  

Time to celebrate the Love of Christ and have some candy too, 

because salvation is pretty sweet. (sorry bad pastor humor) 

It was a beautiful time to spend with family and quite frankly the weather was equally beautiful. 

Nothing like a spectacular Spring day on Easter, it just seems to fit. 

The most memorable part of the day was not so much church, 

but what happened after church.

My wife has a pretty cool blog and we were scoping out some sweet spots for taking pics.

We landed on Kelly Drive off the river in Philly, by boathouse row. 

As I was taking some shots of my wife and son, a man asked if he could take a picture of all of us.

Normally giving a stranger a nice camera to take your picture in Philly is probably not the best idea, but I had a good feeling about this guy.

He really took his time to frame our picture and make us look good. 

This gentleman mentioned he was a photographer and after our mini shoot,
he showed me some of his work on his iPhone.

He had some great photographs.

After going thru his mobile portfolio he asked what I do.

A question that I like, and sometimes do not like, because I never know how people will respond.

So I went for it, I said "I am a Pastor."

That was proceeded by a big chuckle from our friend, and he replied,

"Of all things a Pastor... just my luck, I am a card carrying Atheist."

I smiled and laughed too (I didn't know Atheists carry cards).

I introduced myself and my family and he told me that his name was Will.

We had a great conversation.

He was very kind. 

He actually talked about Jesus more than I did, and said that the only way he would believe in Him is if Jesus would be on the Larry King Show.

What made an impact on me the most was that Will used to believe in God,

until he got the heaven beat out of him.

Growing up Will was beat up by Christians, often.

Even as I write that last sentence, it brings tears to my eyes.

Will reminds me of my brother Jack, who was also beat up by Christians, often.

There was even time during Jack's college years that I didn't know if he would
believe in God from all the hurts he experienced.

I think every Christian has a path.
I think everybody gets hurt, sometimes even by Christians.

In my experience I have come to know a number of Atheists, 

and most if not all Atheists have had some experience in the church and not a good one.

Faith is not flawless.

It may be irony, or the beginning of bad joke, that a Pastor and Atheist would meet on Easter.

C.S. Lewis once said, ""Isn't it funny how day by day nothing changes but
when you look back everything is different."

I hope that one day when my friend remembers this Sunday,
he looks back and remembers an Easter.

Forty Days Without Facebook (Twitter too)

Hey everyone, it's good to be back.  I took some time to put the social media scene on pause.

I have been giving up something during the season of Lent for the past couple of years. (The year I gave up Starbucks was not fun.)  I am not Catholic although I think Protestants, like myself, can learn a few things from our fellow Christian brothers and sisters.  (I am still waiting to see Rick Warren cruse around in a Pope Mobile).

This years Fast of Facebook and Twitter began with a conversation with my wife.  Discussing what would be a worthy sacrifice, she joked with me about giving up the Tweet because my phone is always chirping.

Hey, if I can please God and my wife with the same cause, that's definitely a win.

In the beginning it was not that big a deal.

It was was nice to fly under the social radar for a change.

I find it interesting when someone who I have not talked to would comment later in a convo about my status as if I mentioned something to them face to face.  I guess that's where this social thing is heading.  As time went on things began to happen in the social collective conscious that I found myself wanting to join and add my two cents to "the cloud."

The banter and trash talk of March Madness left me locked in the lockeroom, however I don't think anybody had any brackets to brag about this year.  Shaka Smart is not just a new Spider-Man villain, and I always seem to pick Kansas on the wrong year.

Rob Bell happend to release a book that blew up the Blogs and the Pulpit.  It was nice to see Christian's get Theological for a change and not just try to have the Best Life Now. The topic of Hell was a hot conversation that seemed to have cooled off of late, as long as John Piper does not cast any one else into the nether-regions with another Farewell social smack-off.

When things get hot and bloggy, you need something light and fluffy to bring some levity.  During times like these with high gas prices and earthquakes our biggest dilemma will be, "Which seat should I take...?"

It could be that 2012 will be the end of the universe or maybe it could all end on Friday.

I wouldn't be surprised that if the Apocalypse does happen soon, Charlie Sheen might have something to do with it.

Despite all the interesting things or absolutely absurd things that have happened in the past 40 days here are the Top Ten things I have learned from my social media Sabbath.

1. Twitter is for friends and Facebook is for family.

2. Social Media can take up a lot of your time and you not even know it.

3. A real hand to hold is much better than virtual "thumbs up."

4. America still does not know what real music is.

5. Christians love talking about eternity much more than engaging it.

6. The best conversations are the ones face to face.

7. It felt good to have my first tweet in 40 days be about the Love of Jesus.

8. It felt good to have my second tweet be about the Flyers forcing a game 7.

9. Social Media is not a bad thing or a trendy thing, but it is all in how you use it.

10. Some of the best things in life are better left off Facebook & Twitter.

You might have noticed a different blog format and title.  There is a reason for that.  A lot has happened in the past 40 days, but you will just have to keep reading to find out all the interesting details to come.

Maybe I'll post on Friday or Saturday, but then again Sunday does come afterwards.

(Thanx for sticking around and reading.)