Important Idol

I admit it, I watch American Idol.

It has been a show that's captured my attention for a number of years.  The second season got me reeled me in when Clay Aiken sang "Here There and Everywhere."  I am a huge Beatles fan and that was my wedding song, it just gets me (the song, not Clay Aiken).

So for the past 10 years now (wow who would've thought, definitely not Ed McMahon) my wife and I have tuned in for the music, to see what brutally honest comment Simon might have for the haves and the have-nots, and to see what new hair style Ryan Seacrest is rocking (no man crush here).  We've even hung in there thru the Kara DioGuardi years.

Simon has been a big deal when it comes to American Idol almost more than the music and rising star who wins.  I honestly thought the show would not do well when he transitioned, (after all who is going to pick on Ryan).

Enter Stephen Tyler (a wildcard) and Jennifer Lopez (definite upgrade from Paula) and we can't forget our favorite "dawg" Randy Jackson who stuck around, to act as the three judges for season 10.

So why is Idol still a success as this past week brought in the highest number of votes at 95 million to chose who the two finalists will be?

There are two key factors to why this is the most important season and probably the most successful.

1. The judges are more encouraging than critical.

2. The contestants have a consistent coach in proven music producer Jimmy Iovine.

America may have been entertained with Simon, but never have been inspired as when Laura meet Stephen.

There may have been moments when you wished Simon was there to add his two cents, but the investment of encouragement goes a lot further than the junk change of criticism.

Especially when all too often in the moments of being critical turn into a habit of being cynical.  I think it resonates with people when someone encourages, because we have enough critics in life, whether its a boss, or a coworker, or that random person who leaves you strange comments on Facebook.

It is inspiring when you see someone considers others better than themselves. 

The addition of Jimmy Iovine illustrates that Idol is becoming more interested in seeing the contestants reach there potential, than just crank out another pop star with 15 minutes and counting.

One of my favorite quotes is from a former Notre Dame coach, Ara Parasheghian, "A good coach will make his players see what they can be rather than what they are."

Simon showed these contestants what they are, this season they have been shown what they could become.

They dynamic of coaching is one that transcends in other areas of life.

I have a number of friends who have personal coaches to help them get over the hump to reach that elusive goal weight (hmm maybe I should invest in one).  Churches are now offering life coaches as a way to disciple people into leadership and personal growth.

In the business field coaching is the hot trend with the most successful companies according to CNN, "Coaching now is part of standard leadership development training for elite executives and talented up and comers at IBM, Motorola, JP Morgan, Chase, and HP.  These companies are discreetly giving their best prospects what star athletes have long had: A trusted advisor to help reach their goals."

It may be just another season of Idol that comes and goes, but perhaps in a subtle way seeds of encouragement are being planted and principles of good coaching are being modeled for America to see every week on Wednesday and Thursday.

It may be entertaining for a time to criticize, but an encouraging word is never forgotten.

More Please

I am not a good prayer, but I want to be.

The times when I talk to God the most are the times in my life when things go wrong.

When I need something,
and to be honest,
when want something too.

I can sound like a real baby.

Speaking of baby...

When my son cries and makes a fuss,
I think to myself, "Yup, I can sound just like that."

Lately he has been doing something that speaks louder than his cries.

It is something that gets my attention and my response.

My wife and I have been teaching him sign-language to help him communicate.
Since he cannot form a vocabulary yet, other that Elmo, ball, and now hat.

The hand motions work well.

He moves his hands together in a point to say "More."
and he has got that down especially when he wants Elmo cookies
(they are pretty good too, I have had some myself).

Recently he has learned to use the sign for "Please" (rubbing his stomach).

When he cries out of manipulation, not when he is hurt,
I have learned to tune it out until his crying spell has passed.

I do listen and respond when he motions the word "please."

I cannot help it, compelled to answer his please.

The same way when he is crying for my attention,
there is this moment when he will just lift up his hands,
out of sheer desperation and surrender.

I pick him up,
carry him,
and kiss him.

I never understood why people would raise their hands in worship,

mostly I would do it because other people did it (or if there was a key change).

It is a spiritual communication that goes beyond cries and manipulation,
but into a subtle language and a posture of the heart.

Maybe prayer is more about communicating with God,
than simply just trying to get his attention.

Maybe worship is less about getting what I want,
and more about surrendering.

Maybe this is what child like faith is all about.

Usually a Dad would want his son to be like him,

this time I have find my self wanting to be like my son.

Bullied.

I have been bullied.

I have been punched.

I have become an uncounted number.

Taunts.

Teased.

Tormented.

I am not alone.

During my school days a fellow classmate would come to my locker ever day and he would punch me in the arm.

Constantly.
I lost count.

It was our morning ritual.  It hurt but then after awhile it didn't.  I became numb.  Desensitized to what was really taking place on the surface, but underneath pressure was building.
I knew, and he knew; and there was nothing I could do about it.

There was no reason behind his constant attacks.

There was only latitude to do so.

I couldn't fight back, although I was taller.
I couldn't tell someone, although everyone knew.

Trapped.

He was in a gang.
And I took the bus.

I would pray that I could catch my ride on time because If I missed the first bus,
I would be alone. Vulnerable. Easy prey.

No after school activities.
No games of football in the school yard.

The bell was my escape, and the clock was ticking.

And then it stopped.

Maybe my prayers were answered.
Maybe my best reaction was no action.

It is hard to believe that all of this took place in 6th grade.

Before I could drive.
Before I could die for my country.
I would die everyday.

Bullying is a quiet epidemic that screams in the silence.

Short or Tall
Skinny or Fat
Girl or Boy
Gay or Straight
Christian or Muslim

Everyone has been affected.

Whether you threw the punches, or took the punches.
Whether you watched the violence or turned away.

"Courage is fire, and bullying is smoke."

British Prime Minister Benjamin Disraeli, said those words in the 1800s.

His words still ring true today.

I do not write this for sympathy, I write this to dispel the smoke.

Bullying must be talked about and brought into the light.

A stand must be taking when it is witnessed and in the aftermath that follows.


"Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves; ensure justice for those being crushed."
Proverbs 31.8 (New Living Translation)


I bring this to light because there was a girl who I knew whose life was tragically affected by Bullying. 


There have been times when I have been bullied since my school days. 
It comes in different forms.
Only the setting changes.  


Sometimes words hurt more than fists.  
Sometimes the size of the bully doesn't change just the size of the office. 


The only thing that got me thru those moments then and now is talking about it.


Venting. Loud and Broken.  


I do not know where I would be if it was not for trusted family or friends, 
that allowed me the space for my messy frustration.
Like a balloon, I have popped, sometimes leaving a mess to pick up. 


There is Love in the broken pieces.
Who picks up what is left behind,
And makes all things new. 

Happy Atheist

This past Sunday was a great day.  

It was Easter.  

Time to celebrate the Love of Christ and have some candy too, 

because salvation is pretty sweet. (sorry bad pastor humor) 

It was a beautiful time to spend with family and quite frankly the weather was equally beautiful. 

Nothing like a spectacular Spring day on Easter, it just seems to fit. 

The most memorable part of the day was not so much church, 

but what happened after church.

My wife has a pretty cool blog and we were scoping out some sweet spots for taking pics.

We landed on Kelly Drive off the river in Philly, by boathouse row. 

As I was taking some shots of my wife and son, a man asked if he could take a picture of all of us.

Normally giving a stranger a nice camera to take your picture in Philly is probably not the best idea, but I had a good feeling about this guy.

He really took his time to frame our picture and make us look good. 

This gentleman mentioned he was a photographer and after our mini shoot,
he showed me some of his work on his iPhone.

He had some great photographs.

After going thru his mobile portfolio he asked what I do.

A question that I like, and sometimes do not like, because I never know how people will respond.

So I went for it, I said "I am a Pastor."

That was proceeded by a big chuckle from our friend, and he replied,

"Of all things a Pastor... just my luck, I am a card carrying Atheist."

I smiled and laughed too (I didn't know Atheists carry cards).

I introduced myself and my family and he told me that his name was Will.

We had a great conversation.

He was very kind. 

He actually talked about Jesus more than I did, and said that the only way he would believe in Him is if Jesus would be on the Larry King Show.

What made an impact on me the most was that Will used to believe in God,

until he got the heaven beat out of him.

Growing up Will was beat up by Christians, often.

Even as I write that last sentence, it brings tears to my eyes.

Will reminds me of my brother Jack, who was also beat up by Christians, often.

There was even time during Jack's college years that I didn't know if he would
believe in God from all the hurts he experienced.

I think every Christian has a path.
I think everybody gets hurt, sometimes even by Christians.

In my experience I have come to know a number of Atheists, 

and most if not all Atheists have had some experience in the church and not a good one.

Faith is not flawless.

It may be irony, or the beginning of bad joke, that a Pastor and Atheist would meet on Easter.

C.S. Lewis once said, ""Isn't it funny how day by day nothing changes but
when you look back everything is different."

I hope that one day when my friend remembers this Sunday,
he looks back and remembers an Easter.

Forty Days Without Facebook (Twitter too)

Hey everyone, it's good to be back.  I took some time to put the social media scene on pause.

I have been giving up something during the season of Lent for the past couple of years. (The year I gave up Starbucks was not fun.)  I am not Catholic although I think Protestants, like myself, can learn a few things from our fellow Christian brothers and sisters.  (I am still waiting to see Rick Warren cruse around in a Pope Mobile).

This years Fast of Facebook and Twitter began with a conversation with my wife.  Discussing what would be a worthy sacrifice, she joked with me about giving up the Tweet because my phone is always chirping.

Hey, if I can please God and my wife with the same cause, that's definitely a win.

In the beginning it was not that big a deal.

It was was nice to fly under the social radar for a change.

I find it interesting when someone who I have not talked to would comment later in a convo about my status as if I mentioned something to them face to face.  I guess that's where this social thing is heading.  As time went on things began to happen in the social collective conscious that I found myself wanting to join and add my two cents to "the cloud."

The banter and trash talk of March Madness left me locked in the lockeroom, however I don't think anybody had any brackets to brag about this year.  Shaka Smart is not just a new Spider-Man villain, and I always seem to pick Kansas on the wrong year.

Rob Bell happend to release a book that blew up the Blogs and the Pulpit.  It was nice to see Christian's get Theological for a change and not just try to have the Best Life Now. The topic of Hell was a hot conversation that seemed to have cooled off of late, as long as John Piper does not cast any one else into the nether-regions with another Farewell social smack-off.

When things get hot and bloggy, you need something light and fluffy to bring some levity.  During times like these with high gas prices and earthquakes our biggest dilemma will be, "Which seat should I take...?"

It could be that 2012 will be the end of the universe or maybe it could all end on Friday.

I wouldn't be surprised that if the Apocalypse does happen soon, Charlie Sheen might have something to do with it.

Despite all the interesting things or absolutely absurd things that have happened in the past 40 days here are the Top Ten things I have learned from my social media Sabbath.

1. Twitter is for friends and Facebook is for family.

2. Social Media can take up a lot of your time and you not even know it.

3. A real hand to hold is much better than virtual "thumbs up."

4. America still does not know what real music is.

5. Christians love talking about eternity much more than engaging it.

6. The best conversations are the ones face to face.

7. It felt good to have my first tweet in 40 days be about the Love of Jesus.

8. It felt good to have my second tweet be about the Flyers forcing a game 7.

9. Social Media is not a bad thing or a trendy thing, but it is all in how you use it.

10. Some of the best things in life are better left off Facebook & Twitter.

You might have noticed a different blog format and title.  There is a reason for that.  A lot has happened in the past 40 days, but you will just have to keep reading to find out all the interesting details to come.

Maybe I'll post on Friday or Saturday, but then again Sunday does come afterwards.

(Thanx for sticking around and reading.)

Under Construction

Hey readers, my blog just got hacked.

So in the meantime, I have a simple layout. I will have an all new layout shortly.

Thanx for your patience, and keep reading!

Grace & Peace

Al

The Moment

When you hear people talk about their kids and how it changes them, they are right. Whatever they said they are right.

I have become a more forgiving and understanding person since I have had my son Keane. I do not say that to say, I am this awesome person, if that is what makes a person awesome.

When I look at him (stare really) there is this picture of how I want people to treat him, how I want to be towards him all the time. One word comes to mind.

Love.

I want people to treat him with compassion, to always give him a second chance, to see his potential and not his flaws (which at this time seems to be his adverse response to the word NO).

I want people to see the best in him, because I will always see the best in him.

In the midst of that, I am learning to see the best in others.

Even the people that have really screwed me over in the past, which seemed to be alot in the past year or so.

Thats ok, in the words of Tupac, "I ain't mad at ya."

We had "a moment" yesterday, well, to be honest I had the moment, he was just happy to be playing with his favorite thing...THE BALL (any ball really).

This ball happened to be a soccer ball, (he's Italian, soccer is in his blood, GOALLLLLL!)

I digress, back to "THE MOMENT."

In the midst of washing dishes, I had Pandora playing in the background (because no one really enjoys doing dishes), and my wife was playing with Keane and the Soccer ball. I was trying to get a few kicks in between the dishes.

The song "How He Loves" came on, it was as if time slowed down, and all I could see was my son's smiling face...

Boom.

Moment.

What happened next I will try my best not to sound super-spiritual or cliche, but I will say it and you can decide.

I felt God say to me, "As much as you love your son, you have no idea how much I love you."

Maybe I got carried away with "the moment."

Maybe I got to much Dawn soap in the bloodstream.

Maybe I am just a guy who is starting to learn about love.

I want to love the way God loves me.

There have been so many times I have blown it.

It's really amazing how much patience my parents, my college (VFCC woot!), and my wife have had with me thru the years, (put up with me really).

Speaking of my college years, I was just sharing a story with my wife, about something I never knew until recently.

I had lunch with the president of VFCC Dr. Meyer, and he shared how proud he was of me and we talked about my college years. Definitely some highs and lows.

He shared with me something I never knew, in the midst of my dismissal for a semester, (see the full story here), I almost did not make it back into VFCC.

It was one teacher, one teacher who I did not get along with, Daniel McNaughten, that gave me a second chance and spoke up in my defense.

He never told me, he just believed in me.

Love that I never knew, but Love that made an impact.

It's a love that steps into the Sandals that John was not worthy to carry.

Love that covers.

Love that forgets.

Love that believes.

That is the type of Love I want to have for others,

the type of Love I want my son to know I have for him.

Always.